1. Family & Respect

First impressions matter. In many ways it’s no different to the West: be respectful, thoughtful, kind, and conservative. But there are little differences. For example, in the UK a firm handshake is a sign of confidence — here, it can be seen as rude or overly competitive. Keep it polite, not crushing. What worked for me with my partner’s family? I was just myself. I didn’t put on an act — they needed to know the real me, not a show. I made it clear I wasn’t a sex tourist, and that I respected their daughter. Filipinos know the sex tourism industry is huge here, and they don’t want their sister or daughter involved in that. Think about it — would you?

Avoid leading with your wallet. We’ve all heard the horror stories of foreigners losing everything. Nine times out of ten, it starts the same way: flashing cash. Yes, you’ll be treated like a king for a while, but the second the money runs out, you’ll be dropped like a concrete weight.

Respect earns trust. I often ask my partner how her family will feel about certain things. It doesn’t mean I’m led by her family, but it shows that her family’s opinion matters to her, and therefore it matters to me. Filipinos also hate rudeness. Don’t shout at waiting staff, don’t call people stupid, and don’t pick fights. A Filipina will walk away and leave you to it. In short: be the kind of man you’d want your own daughter to date.

2. Money & Generosity

Here’s the hard truth: many Filipinas will expect the foreigner to pay. For me, that was something I couldn’t accept outright. After a lot of searching, I was lucky enough to meet a Filipina with a solid job — she actually earned more than me at the time. We have a mutual understanding. I pay the rent (₱25,000 a month, expensive by local standards), and she covers food, bills, and fuel. We both contribute roughly the same. That balance works for us.

I also set clear boundaries from the start. I made it clear I would never fund an entire family’s lifestyle. Some foreigners accept this role, but if you do, understand it will never end — and you’ll forever be the ATM. I once dated a woman named Rose in Cavite. Everything seemed fine until two weeks before we were due to meet, when she announced she couldn’t see me anymore because she had to take a new job to support her parents. They weren’t elderly — just dependent. That was my red flag. Even if we’d met, I knew her family would run the relationship, and eventually they’d expect me to fund them too.

When to pay and when not to. Paying should always be voluntary, not mandatory. Be prepared to pay your way, but don’t let it become one-sided. In my case, if it’s my partner’s mum’s birthday, I’ll happily pay for the meal — it’s a nice gesture and shows goodwill. But for regular family meals, I let my partner pay. Balance matters. Avoid being seen as an ATM. Don’t talk about your earnings. Don’t show bank details. A good, honest Filipina won’t care anyway. Gold-diggers will. Learn to say no. My rule of thumb: treat others how you want to be treated. Be fair, honest, and loyal. Filipinas appreciate the small things — like when it’s raining, I’ll pull the car up so the passenger side is nearest the gate. Not because I’m a simp, but because I respect my partner.

3. Dating Etiquette

I was fortunate. The woman I met online turned out to be the woman I’ll marry. We clicked instantly. She showed me kindness, loyalty, and patience. She wasn’t pushy, and she wanted to prove herself as a worthy partner — not because I’m controlling, but because she knew I had options. Almost two years later, we’re engaged, and life is good.
My advice for dating:
Be confident — Filipinas love confidence.
Be funny, but respectful with it.
The old lines still work: “Would you like to grab a coffee?” or “Want to see a movie?” That’s how I started.
Do’s and don’ts:
✅ Do be respectful.
✅ Do smell good — Filipinas love a man who wears nice aftershave.
✅ Do ask about her family — family is everything here.
✅ Do be the kind of guy who can laugh at himself.
❌ Don’t be overly pushy.
❌ Don’t expect sex on the first date. While it happens, don’t assume it.
❌ Don’t talk about your exes. Filipinas are very jealous.
Differences from the West:
Filipinas who are worth dating don’t care how much you earn — they care about the connection. A McDonald’s first date here is fine. Try that in the UK and you’ll end up on TikTok being ridiculed.
If you want to marry, be prepared to ask the parents’ permission — a tradition long gone in the West, but alive here. Presents for birthdays and Christmas don’t need to be expensive. It’s the effort that counts. And yes, many Filipinas love to look after their man — not out of submission, but out of genuine care. My partner loves to bring me my morning coffee. That’s not misogyny — that’s her showing love.

4. Red Flags in Relationships

This is probably the most important section. Spotting red flags can mean the difference between a relationship that feels like hell or one that feels heaven-sent.

Filipinas can be subtle. Scammers rarely ask outright for money. Instead, you’ll hear lines like “I’m sad, I haven’t eaten in two days.” But think about it — if they really had nothing, would they be chatting online on a smartphone?

Specific red flags to watch for:
Tampo — the silent treatment. Sometimes it’s justified (cheating, for example), but other times it’s overreaction (like something you did in her dream). Even during tampo, she may still look after you — but constant silent treatment is exhausting.

Family control — if every decision must be run through the family, expect problems. Some families can be toxic, and you don’t want to date the entire clan.

Lying — small white lies are common here, often to avoid offense. But dishonesty can go deeper and damage trust.

Violence, stealing, gaslighting — universal red flags. If she hits you, threatens you, or manipulates you, walk away.

But let’s be fair: men bring red flags too. Many foreigners come here flashing money, getting drunk, chasing multiple women at once, or looking down on locals. That’s just as toxic. Respect goes both ways.
Bottom line: Everyone has quirks, but ignoring major red flags will end in disaster. Be realistic, be observant, and don’t let infatuation blind you.

✅ Final Word

Dating in the Philippines can be life-changing. Filipinas are warm, family-oriented, and loyal — but cultural differences mean you need to adapt. Respect her family, set clear money boundaries, be confident but not arrogant, and never ignore red flags. Get this right, and you won’t just find a girlfriend — you may find a partner who will genuinely care for you for life.